6 Foods that Should be Banned from Highchairs

6 foods that should be banned

I’m convinced there’s a reason why 30 or 40 years ago babies and toddlers were placed into hard, wooden highchairs with stiff, rigid backs. There were no fluffy padded inserts like those found in today’s seats. Back then they were smart and had it figured out. Forget comfort! They were not about to waste their time washing down seat padding and trying to scoop gunk from all the little cracks and crevices found in modern highchairs. Babies are freakin’ messy eaters!

Take it from me. I have a toddler running around. Aless is at the age when she is constantly exploring her food. By exploring, I mean diving into it headfirst with both hands and feet. I posted a video a few weeks ago of her taking a bath in soup. It was everywhere! Besides soup there are some other foods that should just be completely banned from highchair trays. They are:

Pastina – Literally meaning “little pasta”, Pastina is every parent’s worst nightmare. It’s the smallest and STICKIEST pasta that you can buy. And I’m not sure why I keep doing just that. I buy it. I cook it. She turns the house into a pasta peppered mess. The worst part? You can’t sweep this s**t up. It’s too sticky! Once it lands, that’s it. You’re forced to wipe down every surface within 10 feet or do the two finger pick up – piece by awful piece.

Ice Cream – Sure, we all scream for ice cream. I also happen to scream (in the other room) about ice cream. Ugh. This is one of those treats best served on a front porch or while sitting outside the ice cream parlor.

Cereal with Milk – Cereal without milk, okay. Cereal with milk, the equivalent of soup except that spilled milk turns sour. Sour milk smells. So if you happen to miss a puddle or don’t immediately wash the padded seat insert, be prepared to cry over spilled milk.

Mashed Potatoes – If you’re going to give these to your baby or toddler, make sure to put them in a hazmat suit first. This stuff fights back! And it will attack you, too; especially if you’re wearing a nice pair of black pants.

Peas – Green mush. It’s like someone forgot to shut off the valve on a nuclear waste pipe. Once it finds the hair, there’s no stopping it. Your child will turn into the Golly Green Pipsqueak right before your very eyes!

Anything Red – Like a bull, red attracts a baby to no end. That’s why they love red-colored foods. Tomato sauce, tomatoes, SpaghettiO’s, strawberries – damn all of you! Rule of thumb – if it’s red, they are going to have a field day and it’s going to stain even the toughest of plastics, the cleanest of fabrics and the most kissable of cheeks.

I know I’m missing a bunch of foods that make mealtime a one-person food fight. Which ones would you add to this list?

Posted on by Crystal in Kids, MUDDies

9 Responses to 6 Foods that Should be Banned from Highchairs

  1. Angela

    My son hated the high chair and refused to wear a bib, I remember stripping him down to just his diaper and stuffing him in the chair many, many times. I definitely don’t miss those baby days for this reason, but I’d go back to the baby snuggles to visit. 🙂
    Angela recently posted..6 Tips For Photographing Children

  2. Michelle

    I do not miss those days. At least not mealtime. What a mess! They were really cute though covered in food!!
    Michelle recently posted..LOCK IN Peace of Mind from Appliance Repairs with EquityLock® Protector {Giveaway}

  3. Molley@A Mother Life

    I used to put a table cloth under the high chair! My husband refused to go near them when they fed themselves… so gross. Do not miss it.. Thanks for hook ing up to the Hump Day Hook Up
    Molley@A Mother Life recently posted..Here’s the Thing about Grief

  4. Mothering From Scratch

    {Melinda} OH, I remember those days! I would add to that list … corn. I found it everywhere. Including my daughter’s nose. She stuck a kernel up there during dinner one night and we ended up in the ER where a doctor had to extract it while we held her down. Good times! 🙂
    Mothering From Scratch recently posted..how to keep the peace when life gets messy

  5. The Next Step

    lol, yes, there are SO many things you should just not give kids until you are ready to face cleaning them up off every surface.

    However: “Cereal with Milk” – works tons better if you just put enough milk on the cereal to wet it. Then it clumps to itself and to the spoon (if you are at the stage where they are feeding themselves with a spoon) and actually makes LESS mess. But it can’t be cereal swimming and drowning in milk – it has to be just enough to get the stuff wet.
    The Next Step recently posted..Big Fat Happy Face Smiles

  6. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom

    I remember mashed potatoes! Don’t you love how they disappear when you wipe them only to form an impenetrable glaze as the spot dries? 🙂
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Jump The Waves

  7. The Shitastrophy

    My parents would take my hair chair outside every night after dinner and hose it down. I didn’t realize the genius of this until I had toddlers.

  8. thedoseofreality

    Just reading this gave me flashbacks to my older one’s first birthday party and her piece of cake…let’s just say I almost threw the entire highchair away rather than try to clean it! ;)-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted..Would You Rather: Show Up At Your High School Reunion Wearing A Bikini Or With Your Head Shaved?

  9. Leslie

    I hate our high chair, but it was free so I deal with it. Every night is a disgusting battle with pulling bits of food out of the crevices and underneath the pad. Honestly, we avoid soups and cereal with milk for the youngest, but there have been many unfortunate pasta and mashed potato episodes!
    Leslie recently posted..{Weigh In Wednesday} Week 27

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