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The Mom to Not Mom Conversations

Posted on by Crystal in Random Thoughts From My BFF | 5 Comments

Sometimes we forget that not every woman is wrapped up in motherhood and stinky diapers. Whether a personal choice or for reasons beyond control, we should be respectful of the conversations that we have with other women and remember, no two women are woven from the same fabric. Random thoughts from my BFF…

I am not a mom, unless you count three dogs, three birds and two guinea pigs, but I did not birth them, I can leave them in a cage when it works for me and when they die, I have to dig the hole myself. There is something you must understand about me, I do not ooze maternal instinct. I do not like the way that babies smell; it is not magical as far as I am concerned. I do not consider everything they do to be the most amazing thing to ever grace my Facebook newsfeed. I would rather stab myself repeatedly with a fork than to ever utter ‘baby talk’. Now if you’re my friend, you know these things about me and should essentially realize than some ‘girly’ conversations are best held with your other girlfriends. Read more

It’s Teen Slang, Yo.

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | 3 Comments

There’s a thread on a forum I frequent where participants are discussing the variations in slang between the UK and the rest of the world, particularly the United States. One member pointed out that in the US “thick” is often used in place of calling someone overweight or, ugh, fat (hate this). In the UK, it means something entirely different. It’s still an insult, but commonly used when referring to someone who is, ahhh, not all that bright.

I chuckled a bit as I read through, because, honestly, unless you’re the parent of a tween/teen, you really haven’t heard slang. All other so-called slang is just alternative lingo. It’s predictable, been heard before and quite honestly, boring as shit. I’ve been tempted to respond to this thread with: Read more

Crock Pot Apple Pie Cake

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin | 7 Comments

Until yesterday, one thing I had never tried in my crock pot was a cake. I’ve tried a few other desserts and sugary drinks, but never a real baked goodie. When my BFF sent me this recipe for Crock Pot Apple Pie Cake, I knew I had to give it a test drive. And I’m glad I did! Not only was in a cinch to make, it tasted incredible! Pontilicios referred to it as “mouth orgasmic” and I have to agree. The only downside is that it comes out small – lasting minutes in a house full of the male population. Read more

Equipment Malfunction

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

A short time ago, we had a slight “equipment” malfunction. I won’t get into what it was or what it’s used for (because that in itself could open up a whole can of worms), but let’s just say I was asked to start this piece of “equipment” and knew immediately upon trying that I had not done it correctly. Naturally, my first question was, “Does it ever not start?” to which I received a stern, “No,” from Pontilicious. Second question out of my verbose chew hole, “Does it ever have a difficult time turning over?” to which I received another very stern, “No”.

At that point Pontilicious was in a bit of a tear to get it into the garage and check it out. I decided to go upstairs, jump on Google and see if this was a common problem, what the typical issues were and what we could do to “fix” it. As I began searching, I heard a garbage can sound like it was being used in a jousting competition and of course, an explosion of cursing. I searched a little faster and found a list of common issues and repairs.

Excited, I began yelling directives down over the steps into the garage (to which the inside door was closed). As I was yelling down, my son Adam was also yelling, from the laundry room, a list of things to check as well. This lead to the following exchange: Read more

Bitchtastic Panties and Bird Shit

Posted on by Crystal in Random Thoughts From My BFF | 3 Comments

I’m super excited to introduce a new section to MommiFried called: Random Thoughts From My BFF. You’ve read our twisted conversations on here before and have enjoyed them. So today, she is going solo. Sort of. Next step is getting her to actually press the publish button. 🙂 Read more

WTH is with these parenting forum acronyms?

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 10 Comments

Quick note: Make sure to click that image over there to the right – Top Mommy Blogs. Each click pushes MommiFried further up the charts! I appreciate all of your support. Vote daily!

Since entering the mommy blogging world, I’ve been spending quite a bit of time in online communities and forums related to everything from pregnancy and breastfeeding to moms over 30 and more.  I’ve enjoyed discussing important and relevant topics with other moms and dads and find the atmosphere in most groups and forums to be welcoming and friendly. I have to admit though, I’ve been somewhat baffled by the acronyms that people use. Wait. Let me clarify that statement. I’ve been going freaking bonkers not knowing what the hell kind of language is being used by A LOT of moms and dads.

I finally took some time to research the most frequently used acronyms and abbreviations. I’ve listed below what each stands for and what I thought each meant in parentheses. I might be more MommiFried than I originally thought. Read more

Ode’ to the Pumpkin

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Comments Off on Ode’ to the Pumpkin

I have a confession. I’m a bit of a pumpkin addict. Whether it’s a recipe for sinful, butt swelling cupcakes or heavenly aromatic candles that make me want to eat them, anything about, having or containing pumpkin is OKAY in my book.

Ripe for the season, I thought it would be appropriate to showcase some of the most divine, blissful, tantalizing pumpkin goodies I’ve come across in recent weeks. If you worship the pumpkin gawds like I do, hold onto your seat. This is going to be one hell of a glorious ride! Read more

Open Letter to OLD BAY® Seasoning

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras, MUDDies | Leave a comment

Dear Head Baytriots:

I hereby put forth my interest in becoming the Official Online Ambaysador for OLD BAY® Seasoning. It seems like a natural fit. I’m OLD(er) and quite sassy. I use OLD BAY® Seasoning generously in all of my cooking – from livening up crockpot favorites to masking several recent casserole screw-ups (let’s not talk about those). When it comes to cooking up the best, I’m proof that you don’t have to have crabs to enjoy OLD BAY®. OLD BAY® really is great on everything else – chicken, gravies, soups, casseroles, ice cream, steak. Okay. Not ice cream. You got me there.

Here’s what else I love about OLD BAY®: Read more