Things Doctors Don’t Need to Tell Seasoned Mothers

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | 1 Comment

I brought Aless for her 9-month checkup yesterday which, aside from her head circumference continuing to decline (for another day), went splendid. I am, however, amazed that at 38-years-old having already raised three productive, awesome kids the doctor feels it necessary to say certain things to me. Technically, I’m a freakin’ pro. You don’t get much more seasoned than me. Here are some of the things he reminded me of and instructed me to do (while I stood there nodding like a cheap dollar store bobblehead): Read more

Introducing the YIKE(s): A pedal-less, without a seat bike (no, seriously)

Posted on by Crystal in MUDDies | Leave a comment

I discovered a disturbing new invention this morning while canvassing Yahoo! headlines: a bike without pedals or a seat. What? Check it out:

Being dubbed the “Flintstones” bike, this f-ed-up contraption really goes by the brand name “FLIZ” (how creative). Supposedly the concept promotes “freedom running”, otherwise known as “running”. The name stems from the German word for “flitzen,” meaning to whizz or dash. To whizz? Can this get any worse?

Read more

6 Super Powers Every Kid Has

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | 2 Comments

What if I told you that your kid has a set of super powers that mimic the likes of Clark Kent or Mister Fantastic? You’d say I’m crazy, right? Just a sleep deprived, delirious mama who has watched too many late night reruns. Well, I’m here to tell you that your kid does indeed have skills and abilities that rival Tommy from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. They might not be able to shapeshift or move objects with their minds, but what they do harness is mind boggling (or just plain ole’ scary).

Here are six super powers every kid has: Read more

Michelle Obama, An Exemplary First Mom or “Mom in Chief”

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

Despite my feelings on politics and non-existent thoughts on our current President, I’ve always had a great deal of respect for Michelle Obama. She has been a quiet force, working diligently behind the scenes and somehow single-handedly managing to shield her daughters from the public eye in ways that First Moms before her could never do. For that achievement alone, I commend her.

Last night, the self-proclaimed “mom in chief” gave an inspirational speech at the Democratic National Convention 2012 in support of her husband. She encouraged patience and understanding as we work together to revive our economy and get the heart pumping again in our nation. She did what any mom would do – she used the age-old art of persuasion, speaking to her “children” in a warm, positive, “I will do everything in my power to see this through” manner. I believe if it were within her reach, she would do anything to help her country. Read more

Freakin’ Christmas

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

Conversation that Nick and I had earlier today:

Me: Christmas is going to be so great this year! Aless will be one and we will have a brand new grandbaby!

Nick: Yeah. It’s going to be really nice.

Me: Oh my gawd! We need a tree. We don’t have a tree! Oh my gawd!

Nick: What month is it?

Me: August.

Nick: Right. Do you want me to go get the tree now?

Me: No. It’s August. Read more

Three Cheers for Optimism!

Posted on by Crystal in MUDDies | Leave a comment

My brain is in the process of holiday recovery. It wants to like the week, but at the same time, it wants to pretend that today is another day off from the daily grind. Not so lucky brain! Get your butt back to work pronto!

To kickstart things, I’m trying to process a message my computer keeps sending me. It’s telling me that my hard drive is going to crash and I should “BACK MY SHIT UP NOW!” What’s up with that? Why toy with me on a fake Monday asshole? I’ve been getting blue screens of death here and there, but nothing quite this serious. Either my computer is being a real drama queen and overreacting like its owner frequently does, or my shit really is about to go down.   Read more

Age Really is Just a Number

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 4 Comments

You’ve been wondering. And it’s about time I dish on my love affair and subsequent marriage to a much younger man. It’s really not all that fantastical or crazy as you might have imagined or hoped it would be – sorry if I’m letting some of you down.

It all started a few years ago when I received a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. A simple “Hi. How are you?” was all it said. I remember the message catching me at the wrong moment and texting back something along the lines of, “Who the hell is this?” I didn’t have time for games (had been through too many already) and really didn’t have the energy to play 20 Questions. Tell me who you are, get to the point, be gone. He immediately texted his name, but my mind drew a complete blank. “I have no idea who you are,” was my sharp reply. This led to a short back and forth exchange about how we had met at a local football game and talked briefly…yada, yada, yada. No idea dude. I was still at a loss. “Check out my Facebook page,” he said. “That will help you remember.”

It was about at that precise moment when my world changed – the “it” moment. Read more

Sauce Margaret Recipe – Perfect for Apple Picking Season

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin | Leave a comment

Yep. I’m still happily digging through the tin I rediscovered containing endless recipes and cooking tips my grandmother had collected during the seventies. The recipes and stories have been such a hit that I decided to create a new area for them here on the blog: Gram’s Recipe Tin. Read more