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Do I have skin cancer?

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

I’m headed to the doctor tomorrow to have a suspicious spot on my face checked. Strangely, in just two days a once silent brown “spot” has turned a pearly, pink color and is very sore and itchy. Naturally, I’m worried. And have every reason to be freaking out just a bit. Until two years ago, I worshipped the sun and spent hours upon hours in tanning booths. I started when I was just 15-years-old. Any chance I could get to lie out in the sun or take advantage of a tanning booth, I was there. It wasn’t until I noticed the skin on my arms and legs taking on a leathery appearance that I finally gave up this dangerous addiction – which I do believe it is. Read more

How many kids is too many kids?

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | Leave a comment

When people ask how many kids I have and I respond that “I have four and would like one more,” they look at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. First of all, don’t judge! It’s rude and archaic. I thought our species was evolving. Read more

The Cellulite Wars: How DO you get rid of Cellulite?

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | 1 Comment

How do you get rid of cellulite? It might be the million-dollar question…

Since I was 17, I have been fighting the war on cellulite. It’s been a losing battle and that’s putting it mildly. Even during my most hardcore weight lifting days, when I felt I was in pristine shape, it was still there nagging at me like a hobbit in a well. Cellulite does not discriminate. Skinny or far from it, most women get an unexpected visit from the Cellulite Fairy at some point in their lives. One day all is well. The next day you wake to find your once luscious ass has turned into a lumpy, dimpled, cottage-cheese resembling couch pillow. Cellulite’s a bitch. Read more

The End of Twilight

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

Since the release of the second trailer for Breaking Dawn Part 2, I’ve been having a hard time coming to grips with the notion that the Twilight era is coming to an end. Laugh at me all you want, but like millions of mature women around the world, I’m a huge fan of this dark, romantic series – an addict, in fact. I’ve lingered like a lust-filled Shakespearean character for each new taste of Twilight. From the moment the first book hit store shelves in 2005, there has always been some vampirish, Forks-induced, Bella-inspired event on the horizon – something to fuel the fantasy just a little bit longer. But soon, this mystical era will see its final days. Read more

Disconnected Day

Posted on by Crystal in MUDDies | Leave a comment

It’s been a strange day. One of those days where everything feels, disconnected. It’s where you look at someone and say nothing, think nothing. Walk into a room and just stand there. Disconnected and I really don’t know how else to describe it. It’s as if I’m having some weird outer body experience. My grandmother used to call it being in a “funk” and I guess she could be right. But I always thought of a funk as a week-long (or more) stretch of just being out of sorts. A friend refers to these days as having “brain fog.” I feel like this is something a bit more. It’s brain fog meets not seeing anything in front of you even Read more

The Drink That Will Bring You Back to Life

Posted on by Crystal in Cadenisms | Leave a comment

My 12-year-old son, Caden, has a lot to say. And often, what he says is truly comical. I’ve been sharing his funny outtakes, quotes and sayings on Facebook for years and thought I would capture them here, too, with an entire category devoted to him: Cadenisms!

A recipe I found online today reminded me a something Caden said at Christmas time this past year. After taking a sip of egg nog he cheered:

“Yum! This egg nog is good. It tastes like that Reincarnation Breakfast mix!” 🙂

Forget Gatorade. Caden has the drink that will bring you back to life.

Welcome to MommiFried!

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 6 Comments

A blog about the adventures of a middle-aged mom suffering from Motherhood Unintentional Distraction Disorder, otherwise known as MUDD. MUDD is the inability to complete a thought or action without being distracted by 14 million other things related to motherhood: balancing work and home life, taking care of pets, changing poopy diapers, cooking, cleaning, shopping, changing poopy diapers…you see where this is going, right? Read more

What is a mother?

Posted on by Crystal in Motherhood | 2 Comments

Although I am well-connected online and manage a number of industry-specific groups, I have made it a point to keep my Facebook network small – reserved for true friends, family and close colleagues. In this group, there are stay-at-home-moms, doctors, lawyers, retirees, writers and so on – just a truly great circle of human beings. So the other day, I reached out to them and asked, “What is a mother?” Their individual responses warmed my heart. Here are some of their replies: Read more