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The Cellulite Wars: How DO you get rid of Cellulite?

Posted on July 13, 2012 by Crystal in Life As We Know It | 1 Comment

How do you get rid of cellulite? It might be the million-dollar question…

Since I was 17, I have been fighting the war on cellulite. It’s been a losing battle and that’s putting it mildly. Even during my most hardcore weight lifting days, when I felt I was in pristine shape, it was still there nagging at me like a hobbit in a well. Cellulite does not discriminate. Skinny or far from it, most women get an unexpected visit from the Cellulite Fairy at some point in their lives. One day all is well. The next day you wake to find your once luscious ass has turned into a lumpy, dimpled, cottage-cheese resembling couch pillow. Cellulite’s a bitch. Read more

The End of Twilight

Posted on July 11, 2012 by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

Since the release of the second trailer for Breaking Dawn Part 2, I’ve been having a hard time coming to grips with the notion that the Twilight era is coming to an end. Laugh at me all you want, but like millions of mature women around the world, I’m a huge fan of this dark, romantic series – an addict, in fact. I’ve lingered like a lust-filled Shakespearean character for each new taste of Twilight. From the moment the first book hit store shelves in 2005, there has always been some vampirish, Forks-induced, Bella-inspired event on the horizon – something to fuel the fantasy just a little bit longer. But soon, this mystical era will see its final days. Read more

Moving – Again

Posted on July 10, 2012 by Crystal in Life As We Know It | Leave a comment

I’m so sick of moving. This will be the third time in less than three years and the 11th time altogether. It’s tiring and absolutely brings out the angry speed-talking demon jaguar in everyone. By the time the last load is unloaded and the former place is cleaned, I am ready to throat punch the nearest individual. I still haven’t learned my lesson either. I NEVER take time off to move. Now granted, I have been a little spoiled the last few times as my husband has some I Dream of Genie moving power and Read more

Horsing Around with Caden

Posted on July 10, 2012 by Crystal in Cadenisms | Leave a comment

My 12-year-old son, Caden, has a lot to say. And often, what he says is truly comical. I’ve been sharing his funny outtakes, quotes and sayings on Facebook for years and thought I would capture them here, too, with an entire category devoted to him: Cadenisms!

As we were driving home tonight, out of nowhere and without any warning, Caden asks me: “Have you ever wiped a horse at night?” WHAT?!?! I almost drove off the road. Who asks questions like that?

First, I had no idea what he said. It was like garbled gooply goop drowning in the sounds of an open passenger-side window and the rumble of the Hummer tires. My initial thought was that whatever he had said had something to do with wiping a horse’s arse (or worse). Read more

Grandmother Alert! Call Me Grand Mah Mah!

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Crystal in Kids | Leave a comment

I always knew I had a chance of being a grandmother at young age considering I had my first child at 17. That hunch proved right two months ago when my first-born, Keith, broke the news that he was going to be a daddy. I’ve been on cloud nine ever since! I cannot wait to hold my precious grandchild in my arms for the very first time. But I do have a couple of requests for this unborn child. Read more

Disconnected Day

Posted on July 8, 2012 by Crystal in MUDDies | Leave a comment

It’s been a strange day. One of those days where everything feels, disconnected. It’s where you look at someone and say nothing, think nothing. Walk into a room and just stand there. Disconnected and I really don’t know how else to describe it. It’s as if I’m having some weird outer body experience. My grandmother used to call it being in a “funk” and I guess she could be right. But I always thought of a funk as a week-long (or more) stretch of just being out of sorts. A friend refers to these days as having “brain fog.” I feel like this is something a bit more. It’s brain fog meets not seeing anything in front of you even Read more

The Drink That Will Bring You Back to Life

Posted on July 7, 2012 by Crystal in Cadenisms | Leave a comment

My 12-year-old son, Caden, has a lot to say. And often, what he says is truly comical. I’ve been sharing his funny outtakes, quotes and sayings on Facebook for years and thought I would capture them here, too, with an entire category devoted to him: Cadenisms!

A recipe I found online today reminded me a something Caden said at Christmas time this past year. After taking a sip of egg nog he cheered:

“Yum! This egg nog is good. It tastes like that Reincarnation Breakfast mix!” 🙂

Forget Gatorade. Caden has the drink that will bring you back to life.

Salted Coffee

Posted on July 6, 2012 by Crystal in MUDDies | Leave a comment

It’s a well-known fact that I cannot think or function until I’ve had my first cup of coffee in the morning. Call it “all in my head” if you will, but I speak some unknown language and walk with a stagger until I have a small amount of caffeine pumping through my veins – which is why I was so upset this morning when upon taking my first sip of beautiful java I realized I had reached for the salt instead of the sugar. Ewwwwww!

Fellow coffee addicts, enjoy the eCard!

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