I Think I’m on the Road to Bald


I have a confession to make. I think I’m on the road to bald. And, no, that’s not a town in Idaho. I’m talking losing my hair in generous clumps, could make a freaking sweater balding.  It all started after the birth of my daughter two years ago, eased up when I was pregnant last year, and is obviously in turbo drive four months postpartum.

My once thick, luscious long locks are starting to look like what’s left on a doll’s head after a dog has been gnawing on it. And I’m not happy. I’m pissed. Angry. Upset. Whining, yes I am. I want hair. Good hair. I want Tamara Camera hair! She is my hair idol!

But I guess there are worse things in life, right? I mean I could be losing my eyesight or hearing. Hair is, hair. There are options. Wigs. That’s an option! Dolly Parton is one sexy wig-wearing woman! Now, if I could grow the boohoolas to accompany such a wig…I would have back issues, for sure.

Hats! Yet, another option. I have lots of hats. Baseball caps. Leather berets. Straw fedoras. Bandanas. Pantyhose. You have done that before, haven’t you? Yanked pantyhose down over your head and pulled up on one end? It’s the quickest way to look like your face is pressed against a glass windshield. I practically pissed my pants one time doing this as a kid.

Wait. We’re talking hair. Options. Tattooing! If Mike Tyson can do it, so can I. Just call me Tigress. Actually, if I did tattoo my head I would have STOP! written on one side and STARING ASSHOLE! written on the other. I’d include the exclamation points because I’m also a Grammar Diva.

People who stare at bald women are assholes. These women could very well be fighting for their lives; silently struggling to overcome cancer and push through the effects of chemotherapy. They didn’t ask to lose their hair. So don’t stare! Or I’ll call you an asshole, snap a picture, and post it here on the blog.

Which reminds me, losing my hair to hormones and complaining about it is superfluous and selfish. To the women bravely losing your hair as you’re fighting to keep your lives, you are the real Tigresses.

So, yeah. I’m losing my hair, but it could be worse. What’s your Tuesday Confession?

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom

17 Responses to I Think I’m on the Road to Bald

  1. Janine Huldie

    I want Tamara’s hait, too and totally lost a good amount of hair after having my kids, but will admit I still have very thick hair, however I have very course, wavy hair. I have to use a straightening iron to get it under control. So, like I said I would love Tamara’s hair, because definitely looks shiny, healthy and manageable at the very least 🙂
    Janine Huldie recently posted..Hippity, Hoppity Easter’s On It’s Way With Janie And Jack’s New Spring Fling Girl’s LineMy Profile

  2. Michelle

    I lost a lot of hair after I had my kids and it’s thinning now too. Frustrating!
    P.S. I love Tamara’s hair too!
    Michelle recently posted..Pie for Dinner! 14 Recipes to Please Your Comfort Food CravingsMy Profile

    • Crystal

      Do you find keeping it shorter helps at all?

  3. WriterMom Angela

    I have a friend who had a bought of some serious, serious stress issues and she lost so much hair she looked like a chemo patient! I know you’re under stress so that’s probably it!

    I have crazy thick hair, but it is definitely not as styled, or as well cared for as it was pre-children!
    WriterMom Angela recently posted..Review & Author Interview for The Eye-DancersMy Profile

    • Crystal

      Stress is definitely a culprit, too! Pretty soon I’ll be able to fill in for Mr. Clean.

  4. Eli@coachdaddy

    I’d look badass with Tamara hair. I’ll settle for not having pattern baldness. Although, if I begin to get a bald spot, it’s all coming off.
    Eli@coachdaddy recently posted..Can an Ergonomic Pen Make You a Better Writer?My Profile

    • Crystal

      With or without a plain ole’ razor? 🙂

  5. Tamara Camera

    Well, I thank you kindly! All of you, really.
    From months three to six postpartum, it happened to me both times. It was one of my least favorite parts of this whole “miracle of life.” It all came back, though. And looked messy flyaway for about a year! Joy.
    Tamara Camera recently posted..Too Darn Happy.My Profile

    • Crystal

      I totally didn’t hear anything you just said. I was too busy staring at your gorgeous hair!

  6. Ilene

    Tamara is my hair idol too! And that post baby hormonal hair loss…It’s the worst. And NOT selfish or whiny at all to complain about it. I think we can still feel empathy for chemo patients, and understand the depth of that situation while at the same time, feel bummed about our own more “frivolous” hair issues. There is nothing wrong with that.
    Ilene recently posted..Maybe This Could Be BigMy Profile

    • Crystal

      You have a way of putting things into perspective! I’m mourning my hair loss, I can’t lie. But I’m really trying to stay positive. I mean, it can’t all fall out, can it? CAN IT? LOL

  7. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons

    Everybody wants Tamara’s hair! I have a friend who has had the same problem/ After having three kids in her late 30’s/early 40’s, her hair got seriously thin. I didn’t lose hair, but my previously dry hair became super oily during pregnancy and postpartum. Stupid hormones!
    Lisa @ The Golden Spoons recently posted..Tuesday Ten Linkup – Favorite Foods and RecipesMy Profile

    • Crystal

      Hormones suck! I’m still battling them – hair loss, mood swings… My husband just loves me! 🙂

  8. Ginny Marie

    Oh, yes, Tamara’s hair! We’re all jealous now! My hair is so fine I have to wear it short. *sigh*
    Ginny Marie recently posted..Ten Things I Loved About My MomMy Profile

  9. Megsanity

    I don’t think it’s silly to be concerned about something that you have come to like about yourself. It seems a very valid concern and something that we don’t want to be taken away from us. Hair represent a great deal in our culture: youth, beauty, etc. It is hard even when we don’t see ourselves as identifying in that way, cancer or no. I already lost the flat belly to kids. Hair too? Dammit mother nature! <3

  10. Rabia @TheLiebers

    Sing with me:
    Gimme head with hair
    Long beautiful hair
    Shining, gleaming,
    Streaming, flaxen, waxen

    Give me down to there hair
    Shoulder length or longer
    Here baby, there mama
    Everywhere daddy daddy

    Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair
    Flow it, show it
    Long as God can grow it
    My hair

    I don’t know why I have such a love for the musical “Hair” but the songs seem so appropriate at times!
    Rabia @TheLiebers recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: My Mother’s Day Gift to MyselfMy Profile

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