6 Ways to Fix a Sexless Marriage Before It's Too Late

When you first meet someone and pass the courting stage you will probably enter a period where you enjoy sex at every opportunity you get, this could be daily or twice daily.  However, every couple experiences a reduced need for sex as the relationship becomes more comfortable.  This does not mean the love has gone, rather that the time available has reduced.  Commitments at work and at home will often drain you physically and emotionally leaving very little time Read more

What to Do if Your Teenager or Young Adult Has a Drug Problem

Drug addiction can happen at any age, and nobody is exempt from the risk of becoming an addict. Teenagers may become addicted to drugs for a number of different reasons, whether they started trying a drug simply to experiment or have fun or as a result of more serious underlying issues such as depression, anxiety or chronic stress. If your teenager is using drugs and continues to use them despite the real risks of harmful consequences, you may need Read more

8 Surprising Reasons Why You Wake Up Tired

We humans need our sleep. Most of us feel at our best when we have had around seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. We then wake up full of the joys of life, ready to face the world. It is a different story if you haven’t slept well. You wake up feeling like death, hollow-eyed and groggy, and then spend the rest of the day fighting to stay awake. Everyone has a few bad nights here are there, usually when kids Read more

Women’s Guide to Anti-Aging Skin

You can never start too early to prevent your skin from showing signs of ageing. What you need is the right skincare and lifestyle tips to send them packing. Here are some tips to help you save face. Pack Your Moisturizer No matter what moisturizer you use, anything that will soften your skin will go the distance to giving you supple skin that is less likely to show wrinkles. However, there are some ingredients that will make your skin even softer, Read more

And the Bat Says “Beep Beep Beep”

Posted on by Crystal in Cadenisms, Pontilicious Moments | 2 Comments

PONTILICIOUS: Do bats have sonar?
ME: Yep. Bats do indeed have sonar.
PONTILICIOUS: Like the kind that goes “beep beep beep?”
ME: (paused – in a state of confusion and disbelief) Are you serious?
PONTILICIOUS: Maybe.
ME: You’re dead serious, aren’t you? Read more

You Say Rotisserie, We Say Rotisserate

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | 2 Comments

PONTILICIOUS: (on phone talking to a friend) We splurged when we bought our toaster oven. We got one of those that will rotisserate a chicken.
ME: (in the background) Did you say rotisserate?
PONTILICIOUS: (still on phone) Yeah. It’s really nice. It will rotisserize a chicken.
ME: (still in the background) Rotisserize a chicken?
PONTILICIOUS: (a few minutes later – off phone) We can fit a whole chicken in that thing.
ME: And rotisserate it?
PONTILICIOUS: What? Is that not a word? Read more

Peanut Butter Imposter

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

As consumers, we are often told that it is important to read food labels. In this case, it might have been better if the food label had fallen off. PONTILICIOUS: This is the worst peanut butter and jelly sandwich I have ever had. ME: Really? Is it the bread? PONTILICIOUS: No, it’s the peanut butter. I accidentally bought the reduced fat kind. ME: Okay. It really shouldn’t taste all that different. PONTILICIOUS: What do you mean? It’s not even peanut butter. Read more

Horrible Human Beings, We Are

Posted on by Crystal in MUDDies, Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

President Lyndon B. Johnson meets with civil rights leaders Martin Luther King, Jr., Whitney Young and James Farmer. Photo: Creative Commons/Lyndon Baines Johnson Library and Museum

According to Answers.com, affirmative action is:

A policy or a program that seeks to redress past discrimination through active measures to ensure equal opportunity, as in education and employment.

You’d think in this household we’d know that, but, once again, what an epic f**king fail. Read more

Lasagna Pontilicious Recipe

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin, Pontilicious Moments | 2 Comments

Have I mentioned that I’m married to an Italian stallion? Yep. And boy, can he cook. Last night we had the pleasure of eating his almost-famous lasagna, which I’m now calling Lasagna Pontilicious. The twist on this old-time favorite is the addition of cheddar cheese, which gives it a nice bite. Try it this weekend! Read more

Left-Handed Monks

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

In the Ponti household, conversations are often strange, off topic and inappropriate. I will say that this is the first time we have ever talked about monks. Read more

Equipment Malfunction

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

A short time ago, we had a slight “equipment” malfunction. I won’t get into what it was or what it’s used for (because that in itself could open up a whole can of worms), but let’s just say I was asked to start this piece of “equipment” and knew immediately upon trying that I had not done it correctly. Naturally, my first question was, “Does it ever not start?” to which I received a stern, “No,” from Pontilicious. Second question out of my verbose chew hole, “Does it ever have a difficult time turning over?” to which I received another very stern, “No”.

At that point Pontilicious was in a bit of a tear to get it into the garage and check it out. I decided to go upstairs, jump on Google and see if this was a common problem, what the typical issues were and what we could do to “fix” it. As I began searching, I heard a garbage can sound like it was being used in a jousting competition and of course, an explosion of cursing. I searched a little faster and found a list of common issues and repairs.

Excited, I began yelling directives down over the steps into the garage (to which the inside door was closed). As I was yelling down, my son Adam was also yelling, from the laundry room, a list of things to check as well. This lead to the following exchange: Read more

Freakin’ Christmas

Posted on by Crystal in Pontilicious Moments | Leave a comment

Conversation that Nick and I had earlier today:

Me: Christmas is going to be so great this year! Aless will be one and we will have a brand new grandbaby!

Nick: Yeah. It’s going to be really nice.

Me: Oh my gawd! We need a tree. We don’t have a tree! Oh my gawd!

Nick: What month is it?

Me: August.

Nick: Right. Do you want me to go get the tree now?

Me: No. It’s August. Read more