10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist

Can we skip the weigh in? I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good? She looks larger than last time but is not quite ready for a Richard Simmons intervention works for me. Where’s the panty coat rack? Just once, I’d love to enter an examination room and see a place to store/hang my Read more

The Fake Can of Peas and Choosing Your Parenting Battles

“Mama! Open it!” the three-year-old tyrant demanded. “Aless, I can’t open it! It’s a fake can of peas!” I fired back. “It’s plastic and all molded together. It doesn’t open!” As if this would have ended the war with my stubborn, sleep-deprived toddler. “OPEN IT! NOW, MAMA! NOW!” Red was clouding my vision. Anger morphed into lunacy. I reached for the nearest serrated butcher knife and began hacking away. “God damned, Santa,” I muttered to myself. “Had to bring an entire basket of Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

3 Tips for Staying Connected When Your Kids Are With Your Ex

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

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Custody arrangements can be challenging. Your kids get tired of going back and forth between your home and your ex-spouse’s place, and you really miss them when they are away. For many parents, missing out on the seemingly small daily happenings can be especially difficult. You wish you were there to praise every crayon drawing, ooh and aah over an almost-perfect spelling test and read them a story at night.

Fortunately, there are many ways to stay connected with your kids when they are with their other parent. While it’s not the same as having them right next to you, these tips will help bridge the gap between homes. Read more

What to Do if Your Teenager or Young Adult Has a Drug Problem

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

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Drug addiction can happen at any age, and nobody is exempt from the risk of becoming an addict. Teenagers may become addicted to drugs for a number of different reasons, whether they started trying a drug simply to experiment or have fun or as a result of more serious underlying issues such as depression, anxiety or chronic stress. If your teenager is using drugs and continues to use them despite the real risks of harmful consequences, you may need to come to terms with the fact that they could be suffering from addiction. Teen drug addiction is a terrible time for any parent, which is why it’s crucial to know the best things to do in order to deal with it in the best way for both of you. Read more

Why More Families are Choosing to Cut the Cable Cord

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | Leave a comment

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If your family hasn’t yet given up on cable, the odds are good that you know a family or two that has – and you have probably had to field more than one question on why you haven’t taken the leap yourself! The fact that the old cable model is dying in not in dispute; subscription numbers have been dropping off for some time, with 2014 being something of a milestone year. It should come as no surprise that 2015 saw further decline in cable and broadcast television viewership, and 2016 looks to continue this trend. Cable and broadcast television still has reach, but its days may be numbered. Read more

4 Tricky Financial Situations to Teach Your Teens

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 1 Comment

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Teaching financial responsibility to kids and young adults can be tricky, so it’s no surprise that 72 percent of parents experience at least some reluctancy when talking to their kids about financial matters, according to the 2015 T. Rowe Price Parents, Kids & Money survey. Meantime, one-half to two-thirds of parents who say they set good financial examples for their children also admit they have done things contrary to earning that label. Read more

Money Saving Tips for Households on a Budget

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 1 Comment

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If you run your household on a tight budget, you may find it difficult to make everyone happy while making ends meet. And you never want to have to live from paycheck to paycheck because you want to be able to save for the future as well. So how can you save money even if you’re already working with a tight budget? Keep reading for a few helpful tips. Read more

8 Reasons Easter is Like the Eggpocalypse

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | 1 Comment

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Just days after surviving Daylight Saving Time, along comes Easter and there they are … wide-eyed at four o’clock in the morning (which is technically three o’clock), standing by your bed staring you down, ready to rock-n-roll. No, not your pets! Your kids!

Second to only Christmas, Easter is holiday hell. Another celebration of white lies and fictitious heroes. The time when parents everywhere must convince the kiddos that a life-sized bunny travels house-to-house dropping off baskets filled with toys, trinkets, and pounds of unnecessary candy. For the sole purpose of making them smile. It’s time consuming, stressful, and pure insanity.

If you’ve blocked this holiday out of your memory from last year, or if you’re a new parent, let me fill you in on the biggest reasons why Easter turns even the most mild-mannered parent into a stark raving lunatic: Read more

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Summer To-Do List: Prepping for a Season of Sun and Fun

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | 1 Comment

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It’s that magical time of year when the smell of newly cut grass fills the air and the evenings are enticingly mild. It’s a time for parties and picnics and pools. A time when the children are home from school all day. ALL day. Every day. For weeks. But with a little planning and preparation, the summer season can be a relaxing and enjoyable experience for the whole family. Read more

8 Surprising Reasons Why You Wake Up Tired

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 1 Comment

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We humans need our sleep. Most of us feel at our best when we have had around seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. We then wake up full of the joys of life, ready to face the world. It is a different story if you haven’t slept well. You wake up feeling like death, hollow-eyed and groggy, and then spend the rest of the day fighting to stay awake.

Everyone has a few bad nights here are there, usually when kids come along, but if you are having more bad nights than good ones, it is a good idea to look a bit deeper and see what the problem might be. Read more

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