The Seasons of Depression

An old cherry tree sits just outside my bedroom window. For several seasons I’ve watched it blossom to life—ripening with evergreen and fruit. I’ve also witnessed that life slowly drifting away in the cool autumn breeze. As the branches empty one by one, I sit and gaze without expression. Each leaf that falls reminds me of a ten-year-old girl buried deep in a closet, hiding behind bags of old clothes. Ashamed of the tears, she desperately tries to hide her Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. Read more

Dear Toddler, Screw Your Tantrums

Dear Toddler, I woke up this morning with every intention of having a great day. Outside the window, playful little birds bounced through the trees. Mother Nature gleefully peeked her yellow face from behind the clouds. The new coffee I purchased tasted like paradise in a cup. I was so in love, I tried finding the number for the grower in Antigua so I could properly thank him. A day like this … how could anything go wrong? And then you Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

How I Earned My Wrinkles: A Book That Causes Laugh Lines

Posted on by Crystal in Book Reviews | 3 Comments

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I recently had the pleasure of reading humorist Anne Bardsley’s new book, How I Earned My Wrinkles. And I swear … this might be the first book that actually causes laugh lines. I could not stop giggling! The book is a hilarious collection of stories that Anne groomed from decades of being a mom, wife, and woman of this crazy world. From growing up in a reserved, yet quirky family to welcoming her own grandchild, you’re invited to follow along as Anne relives some of her most memorable (and comedy-infused) moments. Read more

The Seasons of Depression

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | 9 Comments

The seasons of depression

An old cherry tree sits just outside my bedroom window. For several seasons I’ve watched it blossom to life—ripening with evergreen and fruit. I’ve also witnessed that life slowly drifting away in the cool autumn breeze. As the branches empty one by one, I sit and gaze without expression.

Each leaf that falls reminds me of a ten-year-old girl buried deep in a closet, hiding behind bags of old clothes. Ashamed of the tears, she desperately tries to hide her sorrow from the world. A tattered Mickey Mouse muffles her sobs. Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 6 Comments

Walmart

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. People … that’s logic.

Sarcasm aside, I’ve learned a few techniques over the years for making it through this popular chain store unscathed. Mace and elephant tranquilizers are not required.

Here’s how to survive Walmart in five easy steps: Read more

Discount Fragrance, Body Products, and More: This Week’s Deals at Beauty Encounter!

Posted on by Crystal in Product Reviews | Leave a comment

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Are you looking for a branded discount fragrance that won’t burn a hole in your pocket? How about half a dozen of hard-to-find body lotion for your stock? At BeautyEncouter.com, you get your favorite beauty products under one roof–and they’re all discounted! Hundreds of products are on sale this third week of August. However, they’re only on sale until August 23rd. Read more

Put Yourself Before Your Kids?

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 5 Comments

Put Yourself Before Your Kids

Standing in line for ice cream, there she was … a childhood friend I hadn’t seen in years. In a crowd of disheveled parents, she was a ruby encircled by stones. Polished to perfection, her manicured nails complimented her toned skin. Soft curls bounced elegantly off her shoulders. She wore the latest fashions, complete with wedged sandals that added three inches to her height. In the words of Charlotte, she was RADIANT!

And there I was … the polar opposite of all things glowing and refined. I was lackluster, sporting stained yoga pants and a tank top that barely matched. My hair was unkempt. A glob of baby drool rested on my arm. I quickly wiped it off as she turned and recognized me. Read more

Mom Voyáge: A Culturally-Inspired Community for Moms

Posted on by Crystal in Product Reviews | Leave a comment

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I participated in a Blog Blast on behalf of Mom Central for Urbini. I received information from Urbini to facilitate my post as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.

Mom Voyáge is a community of mom bloggers sharing their experiences in motherhood from all around the world. Featured contributors on the website come from the Netherlands, France, Britain, Holland, Japan, China, and Australia as well as the US.  With Mom Voyáge, you can gain a global perspective on how parents name their children, what pregnancy myths exist around the world, and many other parenting and mom-inspired topics. I’ve been spending some time on the site and appreciate the high quality of content it offers–particularly on important topics like pregnancy and childbirth.  Read more

What Casey Kasem and the American Top 40 Taught Generation X

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It, MommiFried Extras | 6 Comments

Casey Kasem

In the eighties, I never missed the American Top 40. Each Sunday I’d eagerly wait for the countdown; a blank cassette tape on hand to record my favorite songs. When Casey Kasem’s voice came over the airwaves, “This is Casey Kasem in Hollywood, and in the next three hours, we’ll count down the 40 most popular hits in the United States…,” I’d grab the nearest hairbrush and turn into a lip-synching diva. Read more

Crock Pot Walnut-Stuffed Glazed Apples

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin | 3 Comments

apples

Fall is right around the corner! That means it’s time to get ready for apple season. A few years ago I posted a Crock Pot Apple Cake recipe that went nearly viral. I hope this one is shared just as much because it’s low in fat, so easy to make, and one the whole family will enjoy. Crock Pot Walnut-Stuffed Glazed Apples come out tender (but not mushy) and will have your entire house smelling like a bakery (or apple farm). Read more

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