10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist

Can we skip the weigh in? I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good? She looks larger than last time but is not quite ready for a Richard Simmons intervention works for me. Where’s the panty coat rack? Just once, I’d love to enter an examination room and see a place to store/hang my Read more

The Fake Can of Peas and Choosing Your Parenting Battles

“Mama! Open it!” the three-year-old tyrant demanded. “Aless, I can’t open it! It’s a fake can of peas!” I fired back. “It’s plastic and all molded together. It doesn’t open!” As if this would have ended the war with my stubborn, sleep-deprived toddler. “OPEN IT! NOW, MAMA! NOW!” Red was clouding my vision. Anger morphed into lunacy. I reached for the nearest serrated butcher knife and began hacking away. “God damned, Santa,” I muttered to myself. “Had to bring an entire basket of Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

The Benefits of a Community & How to Cultivate One

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 1 Comment

Group of friends on porch of cabin

A tight-knit community can provide a safe haven for your children, a reliable network and countless personal connections. With busy, transient lives — kids at school, parents at work, dinner on the table, in bed by 10 — we often don’t prioritize fostering a strong sense of community. However, our sense of community affects our brain chemistry, our general well-being and our social identities. Regardless of location, there are many ways to find and create communal settings and social opportunities. Here are a few ideas: Read more

3 Ways to Give Back During the Holiday Season

Posted on by Crystal in Guest Posts | Leave a comment

Merry Christmas

The holidays can be a very busy time, as we spend most of our time rushing around to celebrate with family, friends, and get some last minute deals while holiday shopping. It is easy for the time to get away from us and we often forget that there are people out there who are less fortunate than us. Start a new tradition with your family this holiday season and plan a day to volunteer and give back in your community! Read more

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6 Thanksgiving Time Sucks You Ain’t Got Time For, Momma

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It’s that time of year again: Thanksgiving. If you’re a mom this can be a wonderful holiday for celebrating family and being together. It can also be a Prozac-inducing food fest that causes anxiety hives and the purchase of industrial-size bottles of wine (we can dream). Well, get your hand out of the poultry’s hind end for just a minute and listen up. You do not need to be a clucking wonder woman! Not this year, momma!

Relax and enjoy! Here are 6 Thanksgiving time sucks you aint’t got time for: Read more

The Perfect Work-Life Balance: How to Treasure Your Time

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It, MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment


Whether you’re a working mom or a stay-at-home caretaker, having a career that balances time and money isn’t some all-or-nothing endeavor. You don’t need to leave your life at home to have a job, and you don’t need to quit your job to spend more time at home. Thousands of mothers are finding new ways to build careers from their living room and making good money in the process. But more importantly, they’re doing it without sacrificing the most valuable resource: time. Read more

Advice from Women Leaders for Mompreneurs

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 1 Comment


Despite the barriers and challenges, women are as equally qualified as men to run big businesses. According to a new Pew Research Survey, most Americans found women to be more innovative, more intelligent, more compassionate and stronger than men when it comes to being organized leaders. Women are making strides in the business world. Find out what you can learn from them. Here are three women in big business who are leading the way for today’s mompreneurs. Read more

Maine: The Place to Launch Your Entrepreneurial Dreams

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domain .me_logoHere in Maine we’re known for our quirky little accents and plush green acres, with 90 percent of our gorgeous state covered in forest. We’re also recognized for our sea critters that make any dinner sing and our winter wonderland that is guaranteed to arrive just in time for Santa. So what are we not known for? ENTREPRENEURSHIP! Read more

Mom’s Guide to Holiday Shopping (Guest Post)

Posted on by Crystal in Guest Posts | Leave a comment


Being the best mom ever that you are, you’ve probably already brainstormed what to get your kids for the holidays. Every year is filled with festive decorations, twinkling lights and cheer of course, but what also comes with the territory is additional stress that results from long lines, crowded stores and annoyed holiday shoppers. To avoid the chaos this year, take note of these holiday shopping trends, tricks and tips to make the gift-giving process a breeze this season. Read more

5 Ways to Deal With Your Kid’s Awkward Questions

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | Leave a comment


Aren’t kids adorable? They bring a refreshing burst of energy everywhere they go, light up even the dullest of days and smother you with such boundless affection that you can’t help but smile. They are also extremely inquisitive, with minds constantly ticking with questions about everything around them. At times, however, your child’s curiosity can put you in a tight spot. When at a busy supermarket, your little one points towards a pregnant woman and questions you about why her belly is “so large”, you wish that the forces above could undo what happened. When one evening, at the dinner table, your child sticks up his middle finger and asks you and your partner what it means, you both stare at him, open-mouthed. It’s natural to experience such awkward instances with your child, but tactfully handling them is what truly matters. Here are five ideal ways to deal with your kid’s awkward questions: Read more

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