10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist

Can we skip the weigh in? I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good? She looks larger than last time but is not quite ready for a Richard Simmons intervention works for me. Where’s the panty coat rack? Just once, I’d love to enter an examination room and see a place to store/hang my Read more

The Fake Can of Peas and Choosing Your Parenting Battles

“Mama! Open it!” the three-year-old tyrant demanded. “Aless, I can’t open it! It’s a fake can of peas!” I fired back. “It’s plastic and all molded together. It doesn’t open!” As if this would have ended the war with my stubborn, sleep-deprived toddler. “OPEN IT! NOW, MAMA! NOW!” Red was clouding my vision. Anger morphed into lunacy. I reached for the nearest serrated butcher knife and began hacking away. “God damned, Santa,” I muttered to myself. “Had to bring an entire basket of Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

Score Free Event Tickets with Rukkus

Posted on by Crystal in Contests & Giveaways | Leave a comment

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As parents, it can be tough keeping the kids entertained during the long, cold winter months. That’s why I just partnered with live entertainment search engine and marketplace, Rukkus, to get you to any concert, sports, or theater event of your choice for free. When they’ve had enough of sledding and ice fishing, head out to the event they’ve been talking about for weeks!

If you haven’t heard of Rukkus yet, just take a look at what some people like Forbes and VentureBeat are saying about them. Read more

Fifty Shades of Grey Inspired Recipe: Vanilla Bean Frozen Custard

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin | Leave a comment

VANILLA BEAN

Who has a sweet tooth? Mister Christian Grey of Fifty Shades of Grey, that’s who! And vanilla ice cream appears to be at the top of his list (and all over Ana – but we won’t talk about that in this post). Although I love me some vanilla ice cream (preferably in a bowl – but we won’t talk about that in this post), there’s something that I love even more: vanilla bean frozen custard! If you’re not familiar with this decadent treat, think silky, creamy, smooth… (but we won’t talk about that in this post – YES WE WILL!).  Read more

Fun-Filled Valentine’s Day Ideas for the Entire Family

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 1 Comment

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Thinking about making Valentine’s Day a family affair this time around? For most children, the V-Day fun usually ends when the class party is over and the dismissal bell rings. This year, make Valentine’s Day an occasion the whole family can enjoy. Make your children a part of this worldwide day of love with these family-friendly ideas: Read more

Judgment Call: The Developing Teen Brain (Infographic Intro)

Posted on by Crystal in Guest Posts | 1 Comment

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Do you recall the thrill of a snow day?

As children it was a glorious and welcomed day off from school. Frosty days that were deliciously full of unending promises of sledding, snowball fights, and hot chocolate. The recent cold snap and bout of winter weather left many parents with houses full of elated children- all except one.

A 16 year old, who shall remain nameless, grew restless and antsy being cooped up in the house with family for days on end. She sulked in her bedroom watching Netflix. Why? Her parents had the audacity to refuse her request to go shopping and hit a movie with friends during the last day of snow. Read more

25 Ways Bloggers Can Use the Hello Bar

Posted on by Crystal in Blogging Tips | 18 Comments

Hello

Have you been introduced to the Hello Bar? If not, let me give you a quick overview of quite possibly the most glorious tool available to bloggers. By adding a simple snippet of code to your blog, you can have a nice little banner advertising just about whatever you want in a few minutes. Hello?!? It’s the Hello Bar!  Look at the top of my blog…Go ahead it won’t hurt. See where I’m advertising Buy My Books with a link to my Amazon author page? That right there is the Hello Bar in action. It’s a simple notification bar that draws your blog visitors to an important call to action. Read more

Fifty Shades of Grey Inspired Recipe: Crock Pot Dark Melted Chocolate Fudge Caramel Bread Pudding

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin | 2 Comments

Crock Pot Dark Melted Chocolate Fudge

In the book Fifty Shades of Grey, Ana describes Christian’s voice as warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something. As much as we’d all like to take a bite out of him, I think we should settle for the next best thing, like this Crock Pot Dark Melted Chocolate Fudge Caramel Bread Pudding. Okay. I went a little nuts with the name. I could have said Crock Pot Turtle Bread Pudding. But how sexy is a turtle? Read more

10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | 14 Comments

10 Things I Want to Say to My

Can we skip the weigh in? I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good? She looks larger than last time but is not quite ready for a Richard Simmons intervention works for me.

Where’s the panty coat rack? Just once, I’d love to enter an examination room and see a place to store/hang my coat (and other clothing) while being poked and prodded examined. I’m tired of hiding my panties under my jeans that are rolled into a wad and stuck on a chair that thirty other naked women have already sat in that day. Read more

The Ultimate Checklist: A Mom’s Guide to Vehicle Safety

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment

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As a mom on the go, while you juggle work responsibilities, a household and your children, you cannot afford for your car to breakdown and compromise your safety. It isn’t fun to be stranded on the side of the road. There are measures you can take to ensure your vehicle’s safety. Here are seven items all moms should routinely check on their vehicles: Read more

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