10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist

Can we skip the weigh in? I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good? She looks larger than last time but is not quite ready for a Richard Simmons intervention works for me. Where’s the panty coat rack? Just once, I’d love to enter an examination room and see a place to store/hang my Read more

The Fake Can of Peas and Choosing Your Parenting Battles

“Mama! Open it!” the three-year-old tyrant demanded. “Aless, I can’t open it! It’s a fake can of peas!” I fired back. “It’s plastic and all molded together. It doesn’t open!” As if this would have ended the war with my stubborn, sleep-deprived toddler. “OPEN IT! NOW, MAMA! NOW!” Red was clouding my vision. Anger morphed into lunacy. I reached for the nearest serrated butcher knife and began hacking away. “God damned, Santa,” I muttered to myself. “Had to bring an entire basket of Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

4 of the Best Vehicles for Families

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | Leave a comment

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It can be difficult to find the perfect ride for your family because there are so many factors to analyze for each option. You need to look at each vehicle’s price point, capacity, gas mileage and, most importantly, safety ratings. You must also consider the interior design and if it’s best suited for your family. If you have small children, for example, a minivan may be a better choice than a four-door sedan.

Regardless of your unique situation, here are some options worth considering: Read more

5 Blogging Lessons We Can Learn from Supernatural (Guest Post)

Posted on by Crystal in Blogging Tips, Guest Posts | Leave a comment

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Okay… so the whole zombie thing is cool and all and yes, there are blogging lessons we can learn from the shuffling horrors but personally, I’d much rather be schooled by Sam, Dean, or Castiel of Supernatural. If I’m being honest, perhaps a demon who’s actually a really nice guy despite the horns, glowing eyes, and bulging demonic muscles.

Within its dark, gothic storylines Supernatural bestows 5 more blogging lessons to complement those found in zombie cult classic, The Walking Dead. Read more

How to Disconnect for a Day (Infographic)

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 2 Comments

Choose your disconnect day at mydisconnectday.com. Click for infographic. Read more

How Great Are Mothers? Find Out! (Infographic)

Posted on by Crystal in Motherhood | Leave a comment

Mother kissing her baby

Motherhood is is called a variety of things, from “thankless job” to “rewarding.” While it seems impossible to summarize a mom in one word—personalized gift company Personal Creations found one: Awesome. They compiled fun facts—from data on how children view their mother to a list of some inspiring moms—to prove how great mothers are. There’s a lot to thank mom for, but mainly thank her for being so awesome. Read more

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Hit the Road This Summer: Planning a Family Road Trip

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | 1 Comment

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A family road trip is a great way to spend time and create memories that will last forever. And, if you do it right, road tripping can also be more affordable than you think. School is almost out; how about packing up and piling in the car? Here are a few tips for planning the family road trip of a lifetime. Read more

It’s Here! Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee

Posted on by Crystal in Book Reviews | 2 Comments

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It’s been about three weeks since I last blogged. It’s not that I don’t love blogging. I’ve just been very busy and this is why… Today is the launch of my latest book Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee: The Crazy, Brilliant, and Unforgettable Lessons We’ve Learned from Our Mothers. Here’s a quick summary of what it’s all about: Read more

5 Unique Things to Do on Your Family Staycation

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | 3 Comments

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Why hit the road when you can have fun in your very own hometown? Staying home allows you the opportunity to have exciting new experiences in the day and still sleep in your own bed at night. The trick is finding those memorable events so the family forgets you are still at home. Try these fun, quirky suggestions: Read more

Burning Bridges Will Get You Drowned

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | 9 Comments

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Growing up, I was fascinated by my grandmother’s collection of American flags and pins, along with a file stuffed full of papers peppered with strange words like immigration, naturalization, and Oath of Allegiance. A Canadian immigrant, this patriotic memorabilia served as symbols of her US citizenship. Her roots were in Prince Edward Island, but you’d never know that she was anything but a transplanted Bostonian—Charlestown to be exact. She was a brass lady, proper and etiquette-wielding, but also possessing the ability to put you in your place if necessary. Curse words were said under your breath, not through clenched teeth. And if a life lesson could be taught, there was no need to teach someone “a lesson.”

She was full of worldly and practical advice. For me, the greatest lesson I ever learned from her was that burning bridges will get you drowned. I learned this lesson when I was quick to leave someone hanging rather than owning up to a situation and doing the right thing. I learned this lesson when I viewed someone as insignificant and inferior, as opposed to someone who was just different. I learned this lesson when those I called “friends” suddenly turned into my worst enemies. And I learned this lesson early-on in my childhood. Burning bridges will INDEED get you drowned. Read more

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