10 Things I Want to Say to My Gynecologist

Can we skip the weigh in? I’m bloated twenty days out of every month. I don’t need three glaring numbers reminding me to skip Burger King on the way home. Can we do a visual estimation and call it good? She looks larger than last time but is not quite ready for a Richard Simmons intervention works for me. Where’s the panty coat rack? Just once, I’d love to enter an examination room and see a place to store/hang my Read more

The Fake Can of Peas and Choosing Your Parenting Battles

“Mama! Open it!” the three-year-old tyrant demanded. “Aless, I can’t open it! It’s a fake can of peas!” I fired back. “It’s plastic and all molded together. It doesn’t open!” As if this would have ended the war with my stubborn, sleep-deprived toddler. “OPEN IT! NOW, MAMA! NOW!” Red was clouding my vision. Anger morphed into lunacy. I reached for the nearest serrated butcher knife and began hacking away. “God damned, Santa,” I muttered to myself. “Had to bring an entire basket of Read more

How to Survive Walmart in Five Easy Steps

Walmart is a scary place. It’s like the convergence of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompa Land with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest all rolled up into a gigantic chocolate-covered meatball. Most of us could trade horror stories about trips to this Prozac-riddled fun park—one of the only places in the world where you can buy guns and ammo, knives and swords, and toys and groceries, yet have to be 18 or older (with a valid ID) to buy Wite-Out. Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

4 Fun and Festive Fall Birthday Party Ideas for Kids

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | Leave a comment


It’s hard to believe, but your fall baby is going to have another birthday soon. To celebrate his or her special day, consider one of these fun party themes — all of which involve getting outside into the lovely autumn weather: Read more

5 Things That Will Lift Your Spirits Up When You Want to Quit Being a Mom (Guest Post)

Posted on by Crystal in Guest Posts | Leave a comment

Mother kissing her baby

At some point in time during your journey as a mother, you may end up asking yourself the dreadful question you never thought you would, “What have I gotten myself into and why?” Before you turn on the self-accusatory mode and begin to feel like the worst mother in the world, know that a lot of women go through these exact emotions. Being a mother is hard work, and it can get extremely taxing physically, emotionally, and mentally. In an attempt towards striving to be the best mother in the world, trying to keep your child happy and healthy, you may end up losing your essence. On the flip side, you gain a lot more. Motherhood comes with its fair share of struggles and sleepless nights, but it also brings with it lasting memories and insurmountable happiness.

Here are five things that will lift your spirits when you feel like quitting being a mom: Read more

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Run Efficient Errands: Tips for Working Moms

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | Leave a comment
Woman with two young girls sitting in back of van smiling

Woman with two young girls sitting in back of van smiling

Whether you’re a mompreneur or a busy working mom, getting things done efficiently is the name of the game. Running errands is no exception. Time spent in the car — with or without kids — needs to be as efficient as everything else you do.

Here are some tips to help make this aspect of busy moms’ lives a little easier to handle: Read more

The Battle of the First Gray Hair

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | 3 Comments

just shout

I’ll never forget the day I discovered my first gray hair. I was at my mother’s house fixing my makeup in her bathroom mirror. Like a gynecologist, she had way too much lighting which revealed every blemish, extra chin, and oversized pore. My self-esteem was already plummeting when it came into sight: a single, lonely gunmetal strand.

Sensibility thrown aside, I went on a plucking rampage that ended with a clump of multi-colored locks in the palm of my hand. Some brown, one gray. Despite the bald spot and accidental mascara scribble tattooed on my forehead, I emerged victorious. Until a week later when Gunmetal Shock Mop’s evil sisters came to town. Read more

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The Best Tips & Tactics to Get Your Child to Sleep

Posted on by Crystal in Kids, Life As We Know It | 1 Comment

10 MB Raddyn sweet smile Blue Mocha Velvet ZMS

Do you dread bedtime at your house? Does your kiddo go running wild when it’s time to settle down for the night? Many parents have trouble getting their children to sleep, and it can be even more difficult for parents whose children have ADD. Kids with ADD have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, and some children even have problems waking in the morning. Help your children sleep more soundly — no matter their age or their ADD status — with these natural sleep tips. Read more

Summertime Fun: 4 Backyard Activities the Whole Family Can Enjoy

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | 1 Comment
excited happy kid boy jumping in pool, water fun

excited happy kid boy jumping in pool, water fun

School’s out for the summer, and all around the country moms are busy coming up with activities to keep our kids happy and active. One great way to do this? Get everyone outside for some family fun time. Although there are plenty of traditional games from which to choose like bocce ball, badminton and Marco Polo, you can also add your own twist to things. You and your kids will all love these backyard activities: Read more

Preventing Your Child’s Identity Theft: It’s a Necessary Step

Posted on by Crystal in Life As We Know It | Leave a comment


Over 13 million people had their identity stolen in some form in 2013, according to a report by the National Conference of State Legislatures. Of those, a growing number of victims are children. A report from the Carnegie Mellon University indicates 4,311 or 10.2 percent of children had someone else using their Social Security number. These numbers have likely grown since the 2011 report. Identity theft is a real concern that parents need to take action to prevent. There are several steps you can take: Read more

Spark Your Kids’ Love of Nature With These Fun Outdoor Activities

Posted on by Crystal in Kids | 2 Comments


Is your child suffering from nature-deficit disorder? With the advent of the digital age, many of us — adults and children alike — are losing our connection with nature and the wonderful experiences that go with it. If your family could be described as a crew of “indoors enthusiasts,” it’s time to reconnect with Mother Nature and go on an outdoor family adventure. Read more

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