I Hate Summer (But Not For the Reasons You Do)

Summer is officially here! How do I know? Because I'm seeing more butt cleavage than a urologist on a Monday. Those are not Daisy Dukes, ladies. Those are denim Speedos. For shame! I actually hate summer. But I can assure you that it's not for the reasons you do. I don't dread having the kids home twenty-four seven for the next ten weeks. I don't mind the extreme heat or the fact that we have no air conditioning. I can Read more

If He Does THIS on Facebook, He Might be a Loser

Okay, ladies. Lately I'm hearing of and seeing a lot of you randomly adding strange men as Facebook friends. First...why? WHY? Unless there is a common connection or you somehow know him, why? It's risky. You have no idea who is sitting at the other end of the keyboard. And I'm here to tell you, it's not pretty. Or cute. Or in any way studly. It's probably pretty damn scary with a splash of cuckoo to boot. I'm writing Read more

Bloggers: How to Get More Exposure for Your Posts

Are you creating lots of awesome content for your blog, but not getting the kind of traffic you expected? Content discovery engine Outbrain (more on them in a bit) composed a haiku on the subject that perfectly sums this up: “If you wrote a blog And no one came to read it Did you write a blog?” Even if you create high-quality humorous, witty, insightful, or poignant content, you still may not be able to organically reach your intended audience—especially if you are a Read more

I’m a Closet Pooper

I have a huge confession to make. I can’t poop when anyone is around. For some reason, I completely freeze up and my shooter shuts down. I call it the emergency shit switch. It’s like a catastrophic event when I need to poop and there are people nearby. The switch gets flipped and shit just stops. Literally. My husband, on the other hand, has an open door policy when using the bathroom. It’s like he needs morale support when taking Read more

Welcome to MommiFried!

A blog about the adventures of a middle-aged mom suffering from Motherhood Unintentional Distraction Disorder, otherwise known as MUDD. MUDD is the inability to complete a thought or action without being distracted by 14 million other things related to motherhood: balancing work and home life, taking care of pets, changing poopy diapers, cooking, cleaning, shopping, changing poopy diapers...you see where this is going, right? If you're a mom, you've probably experienced two or three or 500,000 episodes of MUDD since Read more

O Wines: A Noble Cause, A Delicious Wine

Posted on by Crystal in Product Reviews | 5 Comments


Wines come in all shapes and sizes. Some are varietal, some blended. Others rare and born in special vintage years. Very few have a philanthropic outlet attached to them. That’s why I was so excited to receive and review several bottles of O Wines. O Wines was established in 2006 in Woodinville, Washington by Stacy Lill and Kathy Johanson with a mission to fund college scholarships for low income, capable young women so they can achieve their greatest potential through education. Each purchase helps send young women to college through the O Wines Opportunity for Success Scholarship program. Read more

Can cake cure writer’s block?

Posted on by Crystal in MommiFried Extras | 3 Comments


Can cake cure writer’s block? I put that question to the test recently after having a discussion about this major creativity killer. For nearly a month, writer’s block has crippled me. So a friend suggested that I write about something that fires me up; something I’m passionate about. My response, “Cake?”

While I was half-joking and being somewhat sarcastic, cake really does make me happy. Unfortunately, it only made my waistline expand. Since cake did not have an immediate affect on my writer’s block, I decided to decorate some cakes with messages and hand them out to people.

Here’s what I would write on a cake to: Read more

Fruit Wonder: Banana Three-Way Batter

Posted on by Crystal in Gram's Recipe Tin | 3 Comments

Banana Three-Way Batter

Digging through my gram’s recipe tin today, I discovered a really cool recipe called the Fruit Wonder. It’s a three-way banana batter that you can use to make a coffee cake, loaf, or muffins. I threw together a batch of the muffins, which cooked light and golden brown. They were packed with flavor and delicious warm right out of the over and smothered in butter. Since there is a star next to the recipe, I’m thinking this was a good one. Next weekend, it’s on to the coffee cake! It’s a great way to use up all those really ripe bananas. Read more

Dear Toddler, Screw Your Tantrums

Posted on by Crystal in Confessions of an Older Mom | 19 Comments


Dear Toddler,

I woke up this morning with every intention of having a great day. Outside the window, playful little birds bounced through the trees. Mother Nature gleefully peeked her yellow face from behind the clouds. The new coffee I purchased tasted like paradise in a cup. I was so in love, I tried finding the number for the grower in Antigua so I could properly thank him. A day like this … how could anything go wrong?

And then you woke up. Read more

Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party: Summer Downtime

Posted on by Crystal in Ladies Only Blog Share Link Party | 4 Comments


Summer is in full swing! The kids are out of school! And it’s time to take a vacation. Whether it’s off to an exotic island or right at home, we want to hear about your summer escapades! This week’s Ladies Only Blog Share is all about enjoying these warm, inviting days. From sun-kissed recipes and adorable crafts to best vacation spots and everything in between, we want to showcase your best summer goodies! So link up those summer posts – old or new – and enjoy your summer downtime.

Happy LOBS everyone!

Read more

I’m a Sony Pictures Sex Tape Blogger! Woot!

Posted on by Crystal in Movie Reviews | 8 Comments


This is a compensated post written by me on behalf of Sony Pictures. 

Sony Pictures is releasing a little (HUGE) movie called Sex Tape this week starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segal. They play a married couple who are very much in love, but struggling to keep the passion alive in their relationship after ten years, two kids, and two jobs. They decide to spice things up by making a private video and, as I’m sure you can guess, quickly find out their private video was made not so private. Can you say “Welcome to the Cloud?!” The film chronicles the lengths they’ll go to (and hijinks that ensue) to recover and erase the evidence. Read more

Cover Reveal: Are You Kidding Me?

Posted on by Crystal in Book Reviews | 3 Comments


Ever feel like pulling your hair out because the kids are driving you bonkers? Are you hiding Uncle Gus and Cousin Henry in the attic so that no one finds out how crazy your family really is? Do you constantly ask the question, “Are you kidding me?” If so, then humorist Stacey Gustafson’s new book, Are You Kidding Me? My Life With An Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives might be the book for you. It’s coming soon (fall 2014!). Here’s a sneak peek: Read more

Surviving the Many Itches of Summer – Cortizone-10 #MC

Posted on by Crystal in Product Reviews | 4 Comments


I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Cortizone-10. I received a product sample to facilitate my review as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.

Summer means getting outdoors all day, everyday if you’re lucky. But with the great outdoors come the bugs, poisonous plants, sunburn, and heat rashes! Bring on the many itches of summer! Right now my family is covered in insect bites from a night by the fire, poison ivy from venturing too far into the woods looking for kindling, and a lovely rash that has something to do with exerting oneself trying to build the perfect fire: Read more

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